trust:

when the teacher thinks u aren’t listening and asks u a question but u get it right

trust:

when the teacher thinks u aren’t listening and asks u a question but u get it right

(via unseenmadeseen)

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

(via isaacmccall)

2.16 | Roadkill

(Source: green-circles, via scarlettvampire)

KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!
colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

(Source: biencorrect, via holdyourghost)

dendropsyche:


IM LAUGHING SO HARD

dendropsyche:

IM LAUGHING SO HARD

(via unseenmadeseen)

pregnantfitmom:

casualblessings:

May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.

This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone

(via greenbergsays)

yukiterumi:

he has slayed for the last time

yukiterumi:

he has slayed for the last time

(Source: lucilferchrollo, via unseenmadeseen)

Best Tour Moment Of 2014 

(Source: mcflys)

Day 519: No.

lauuwmcfly:

Question #1; What are you wearing? +

Hello, I’m Dougie and I’m one half of the bass in McBusted. My favourite part of the tour was any of the shows, any moment where I don’t feel awkward. +

(Source: lauuwmcfly, via spoken-not-written)

castiel-counts-deans-freckles:

This is like a round of cards against humanity

(Source: disneydailly, via spoken-not-written)

fluffy-little-fallen-angel:

nudityandnerdery:

divawithanunspoiledagenda:

plumbones:

destiny919:

greenhoused:

which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner

tumblr user greenhoused is asking the real questions

It doesn’t matter, because Nobody is going to criticize their makeup.

WAS THAT A MOTHER FRACKING ODYSSEY PUN

Well, it wasn’t a motherfucking Oedipus pun, that’s for sure.

I think I’ve found my favorite post

(via holdyourghost)